Category Archives: Writing

What crazy nonsense have I been penning recently?!

An Autumn Poem

Crisp air,
Colourful trees.
Walking on crunchy leaves
Jumpers…”sweaters”,
Woolen Scarves,
Drinking wine in bubble baths.

Roasted vegetables, slow cooked meat,
Toffee apples, crunchy and sweet.
Seasonal coffees – pumpkin spice.
The smell in the morning,
the first layer of ice.

Rosie cheeks,
A frost kissed nose.
Blankets covering
Wriggling toes.

Lighting fires to stay warm,
Staying inside to weather a storm!

Shades of orange, a patchwork of bliss.
Every Autumn, should be like this.

Overground – I Trusted You

Overground I trusted You

I wanted to share with you the real reason I decided to up sticks and move to Canada. Like many tales, this is one of heartbreak, disappointment and rejection. There were countless cancellations and infrequent services. I just could NOT cope with the London Overground any more.

Just kidding. Sort of.

The London Overground always seemed like a beacon of light and joy to me before I had to regularly use the service. Firstly, look how gloriously orange it is! Secondly, have you ever been INSIDE one? They are so spacious and the interior is highly reminiscent of a 1970’s scouts camping trip; a much simpler era before the perils of the modern day grind could truly take hold. Don’t you feel at ease? Not yet? Okay well there is also air con. Sweat be gone! So long to the woes caused by the Central Line, or as many call it “the sweat glad of London.”

When I moved to Brondesbury in May 2014 I was about to get down and propose to this somewhat mythical and godlike mode of transportation. Unfortunately, like many things that seem too good to be true, the London Overground was nothing like I first anticipated. This started a series of unfortunate events that managed to firmly topple the Overground from its pedestal in my mind. Watch the video below to gain some insight into the full story that ended up with me moving continents and the Overground having to post notifications of apology at several stations about its shit service.

The Video

I absolutely recommend watching this full screen.

The Lyrics

My knight in Orange Armour
My journey’s so much calmer.
You were so sublime,
You always arrived on time.

Upholstered in a 1970’s interior
(Just so retro)
You make all other trains seem inferior
(You always stock the Metro)

I could get a seat,
There was always room to eat
My breakfast on the train.
Oh how I can’t complain.

Oh Overground I trusted you.

One day you just flew by me
On your way to Highbury.
You never told me why,
You just left me here to die,
In EFFING Peckham Rye.
ERGH.

Oh Overground, I trusted you.
You made me think our love was true.

BUT, y’know, I thought “Honey,”
“Just because you’ve been ridin’ it for three months
Exclusively
Doesn’t exactly give you any rights,
So pop a fiver on that Oyster and get back on that train.”

I waited for you at Brondesbury
To catch the 8.43
But as time ticked on
I knew something was wrong….

Turns out you failed to function,
You were “stuck” at Clapham Junction
Oh Overground I despair,
I feel like you don’t care.

OH Overground I trusted you.

One weekend we had plans,
You were gonna take me to my nans.
Oh yeah, it was raining, but I was not complaining.
Until I saw your sign for a rail replacement service.
Oh Overground, you know I don’t deserve this!

OH OVERGOUND I TRUSTED YOU.
YOU SAID IT WAS JUST ME AND YOU.
INSTEAD OF ORANGE YOU MAKE ME BLUE.
IN THE TUBE STRIKE YOU WERE UTTER POO.

Ergh.
Argh.
Accch.
Whooa.
Huuh.

I’ll wait for you for hours
Then two will come along
And of course, fool I am,
I will just jump on.

Oh Overground, you are a joke.
But only you go to Gospel Oak.

I trusted you babe.

The Journey

The Making of Overground I Trusted You
Behind the camera! A shot from the filming of “Overground I Trusted you.”

LOLZ see what I did there. This is a level of wit that the Overground could only hope to aspire to. However its only ability to make jokes is with its dubious service.

I wrote “Overground I Trusted You” as a piece for the Soho Theatre’s Comedy Lab. I took part in the Stand Up Comedy Lab and, amongst other things, I performed an early version of this song on our sharing day in December 2014.

The original “music” was “composed” (I am using quotations to demonstrate how un-legit my music and composition skills are) on a glockenspiel with a moustache whimsically pinned onto it. Since the original conception, I drafted in some super fabulous friends to help make this song a touch more profesh. My amazing friend, Emma Minihan, sat down and listened to me bash out this song on a glock and politely worked with me to create some actual music accompaniment on her guitar. She is a star.

Emma and I at Peckham Rye on filming day!
Emma and I at Peckham Rye on filming day!

Emma, my boyfriend Will and I got together one day to lay down the music and vocals (including Emma’s cameo for “just so retro” and “you always stock the metro”). Will then mixed it together and sent me the completed version.

Will and I in "the studio" - AKA his old bedroom at his parents house.
Will and I in “the studio” – AKA his old bedroom at his parents house.

Meanwhile, Emma, my friend Jack and I got together and ran around London on the Overground (which surprisingly behaved like a great sport on the day) to get some shots to make a music video. Jack shot all of the footage on my camcorder and made some great suggestions to the rough direction I had already thought of. For example, the rose at the end of the video was all Jack’s idea and I love it!

Credits

This crazy ‘ol project wouldn’t have been possible without a few major huns. Here are the credits and special mentions.

Conception – Rebecca Felgate

Music – Emma Minihan and Rebecca Felgate

Lyrics – Rebecca Felgate

Footage – Jack Ewins

Direction – Rebecca Felgate and Jack Ewins

Sound Recording and Editing – William Bembridge

Video Editing – Rebecca Felgate

Special thanks to the London Overground for being a nightmare (dressed like a daydream) and to the Soho Theatre and everyone from the Stand Up Comedy Lab.

Love xxxx

What If I’m Never

*****************************************

What if I'm never a rock star
And, well, like this is just it?
Riding tubes home in the dark
Without any space to sit.

What if I'm just one more person 
that lives and predictably dies?
What if I am another number
Just one more set of eyes? 

What if I just take my payslips 
Clock watching til I can go home?
What if I never stray far from 
These places that I have known?

What if I get too tired
To sing loudly any more?
What if let them break it down
When the wolves knock at my door?

What if I stop playing records
Because I know I've never been cool?
What if stop being hungry
Because I know I'll never be full?

What if I am never a rock star 
What if I never know fame?
 
What happens when
There's no one left
Who has ever 
Spoken
My name?

******************************************
I wrote the above drunk on the last train home after a night out. Strangely profound for one too many cans of Red Stripe!
This may never be me...
This may never be me…